For my ladies who smile

Misery Is Me

I don’t deserve happiness
I don’t deserve peace
I don’t deserve anything good

Look at me
See me
Me
You see this???This pathetic excuse of a person
Yea that’s me
I deserve to only be miserable
My whole life I’ve been handed everything on a silver platter damn near
My whole life I’ve never really had to worry about anything because I’ve always had resources and support
So this right here
Yea I don’t deserve to feel this
This feeling that I just want to be happy…that shit only happens on the radio…only MJB can sing about that
Honestly have you heard her story…*SHE* deserves to be happy
Her life wasn’t no crystal stair

But me
Me
I don’t deserve this
I deserve to be miserable because my life’s been too good
And I haven’t appreciated it
I’ve misused and abused my life
My decision-making abilities are obviously horrible because look at where I am
I had the chance to have it all
But nope
I wanted it my way….*insert Usher NOW*
I wanted to show yall that I know more than you
And now I’m paying dearly
The path I’ve chosen was so clearly wrong
So I deserve to be right here
In misery land
With grayness and emptiness
I deserve to have Depression & Loneliness as travel companions
Because when I should have gone right I went left

So again let me please reiterate
I don’t deserve happiness
I don’t deserve peace
I don’t deserve anything good


Look at you
You who thinks you can’t feel how you feel
Why can’t you feel that way?
Why can’t you feel pain?
Is it because to feel the pain means to FEEELLL the pain?
Feel the pain babygirl
Go ‘head
Feel that pain
Feel that shame
Feel that guilt

Look at you
You who thinks you can’t be more than what you are
Why do you think this is it?
You used to reach for the stars but now the stars are too far for you to reach?Or are they too bright for you to shine?

There
Is
Nothing
Wrong
With
You

There say it out loud…in fact I want you to go to your nearest balcony, stand out that muthafucka and scream this shit loud as you can
There
Is
Nothing
Wrong
With me

I’m normal.
Period
Period
Wait
I’m normal
I can’t be normal
Have you seen my life
Do you know my story
Cause I am not normal

Yes you are
Nope I deserve misery until further notice
I think