Agenda's

Hilarious when God re-visits things with me. Recently at a Bible study my pastor taught from Luke 10: 38-42. Pastor dealt with agenda's and how often we push our agendas onto others and magically when they don't comply we're angry.
I'm listening to a friend lament about how her boyfriend isn't doing the things she needs done around the house, how they're not saving money the way she'd like to and a few other normal things and this Bible study instantly came to mind. All I hear is her agenda, how she wants things and her level of expectation. What I don't hear is communication about her agenda with her boyfriend and much mention of us. In all that I hear, honestly I hear myself not too long ago..actually there are times even now I find myself doing the same thing. Until I take a step back & realize is my agenda HIS agenda? Am I pushing my agenda on him? Did I even ASK what was on HIS agenda?
When I take a few moments to take stock of where my intentions lie, I am able to let go. I am able to just BE. Instead of getting angry because my other half isn't meeting my expectations, I ASK him-honey do you know/understand what I need? honey are you able to add this to YOUR agenda? Additionally, when I feel like I'm getting that passive-aggressive "ok" he's an expert at doling out, I ask for clarification. It's amazing how many years, yes YEARS, I spent angry because we weren't on the same page. I was angry because why couldn't he just get like me, think like me and clearly he'd see the error of his ways and the world would be a better place. HA! First of all, that's not what I need in a mate-a yes man; and I didn't fall in love with him because he was just like me.
Now let's take this same concept and apply it to the rest of the folks in our lives. My mother-believes I should have all the money available to pay her back the figure she has come to believe I owe her. Nevermind I've reiterated on numerous occasions what I'm actually able to pay (NOTHING) and what I believe I owe. She doesn't care because that's not on her radar-instead her agenda takes precedence. I realize her anger and frustration with my non compliance has NOTHING to do with me; instead the real culprit is her. Now it's easy for me to get angry and act angry about this issue (which I must add feels like it's consuming my life) but instead I choose to let her be. I recognize our agenda's are different and instead of trying to carry hers and mine, I only have room for my agenda. Although she constantly does things to push my buttons over my non compliance with following her agenda, I just let her walk around. HEHEHE I actually kinda enjoy her getting angrier because I am such a horrible and disobedient child->please remember I am a grown woman but to my mother I will always be a child.
I don't let other folks get under my skin because I can see when they're trying to put their agenda on me. Over the last year I've learned to make myself a priority; understanding as I do that, I will fall out with more people. Not because I'm an obtuse person but more because I'm not doing the dance with them. No longer will I just do what they want, be who they say I should be, say the things they think I should say...NOPE. Now I make sure I'm where I want to be, when I want to be, how I'd like to be. If that's not in line with what you want..then it sucks to be you. I don't have to carry everyone elses crap because who's carrying mine? Who's making sure the things I have listed on my to-do list are being crossed out & accomplished? If I'm not doing it, it's not getting done. Instead of getting angry as I watch my list grow (mostly from adding other people items) and feeling like nothing is getting done; I read over the list again & again. I do this to make sure the items on my list are MY things. If there's anything that's not mine-I take it off. As I remove those items I also let it's rightful owner know-this is NOT my crap & I will NOT be carrying it.
Now I don't get wrapped up in "did they hear me" "do they really understand what I'm saying" or "damn now they're mad again because I'm not doing their stuff" or overall being guilted into completing their tasks. I can only focus on saying what I need to say and moving onto the next thing. I must say focusing on my own agenda has been so liberating. I feel so much lighter because I'm only carrying my own stuff-not that my stuff is easy or hard..but it's just mine. Because I take such ownership of my agenda I can also see when I'm pushing it onto someone else. I've found that separating folks agendas has given me a new ability to LIVE.
So are you pushing your agenda onto someone else? Having any success with that??? If not then take ownership and find release.