Can someone help me better understand the definition of co-parenting? There seems to be a rampant issue with folks not understanding their roles.
I've heard one too many stories of baby mama/daddy drama. My whole understanding is the two of you like each other at some point (even if it was under false pretenses), had sex & VIOLA! nine months later a child is born. Somewhere after conception someone made the decision to have and keep the child. So yall (YES YALL) committed to being in each others lives forever.
FOEVA, FOREVA FOR EVA EVA....YES! You committed to having a lifetime of interaction with another person because of another persons life. Sounds simple in my mind. I mean the decision was made to raise this child in the best of your (YES YALL) ability. There wasn't a contingency clause-if this, then that..not that but this-in the whole agreement. But somewhere the lines got mixed & signals crossed. Now it's two parents out of sync-damn.
Initially (in some cases)things started off just fine. Yall (YES YALL) wanted to be together for whatever reasons-love, convenience, semblance of a family etc; and things went along well. Then BOOM! Out of no where **blank stare** the relationship deteriorates and yall (YES YALL) went from the Huxtables to Mike Tyson & Buster Douglas seemingly overnight.
Now this transition is always the most interesting to me. You had a relationship with each other-like/loved each other & like lightning flash the other person "aint shit". All of a sudden **blank stare** the way they blink pisses you off. You don't want to share the same zip code let alone same room/house. You go from two parents trying to do what's best for your family to using your child/ren as cattle to barter.
The first confusing part is how did the other person suddenly become the devil. No matter how long you dated, the person now is never the person you started with???? **blank stare** People will always show you who they really are and it's up to you to believe them. So that guy isn't newly cheap-he's always been cheap! But you said "awww he's saving us money" I mean honestly everything you know now, you knew over the course of the relationship. So what did yall (YES YALL) miss? I understand and somewhat embrace the idea of dating a person's potential and dating their representative but again who they are at their core has shown through.
The other majorly confusing part is how the parenting relationship is mostly thrown out the window. I was under the impression parents want a better life for their children than they had themselves. That translates in my mind to-you came from a single parent home with an absent parent thus you want the other parent to play an integral part in your childs life.
(I'll have to keep working cause I can't get my thoughts out correctly....)
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