My Truth

How do I tell the truth when I've been telling a lie for all these years


I don’t want to face the truth

it's dark and ugly while vibrant and freeing

how can it be

how can my truth be so multifaceted and complex

yet so simple

how can I keep living this lie when I know my truth lies just under the surface waiting for discovery

waiting for me to give life to it and breath

and maybe possibly some feet and teeth so it can take hold and run free

my truth is waiting to be set a loose

but my lie is easier to hold onto

it's familiarity keeps me here.

I know it

and it knows me

I can lie to it

and it to me

but I am not a liar

I don't tell lies

but I live carrying a lie

because immediately it feels lighter than the truth

the truth too heavy and I'm trying to get my muscles together but they're not cooperating

but the truth is looking for inviting day by day

and the lie............

My Thoughts Today

I've been in mourning and hiding. I have something I can't discuss until a later time. So I don't write, I don't blog thus I don't feel.
At the end it's just a day by day drudging I suppose...just going through the motions. But until I can unpack I don't think I will feel...